Reducing anxiety..
your first energy technique demonstration

This is your first patting demonstration on reducing anxiety which will help you to relax and boost your confidence.

Remember that your ability to attract a soul mate increases when you act your natural self, relaxed and confident, and the technique taught on this page will increase your romance confidence in a very natural way.

Most visitors have come to this page from Romance Tips Three.
 If you have landed on this page directly please go to that link first for an explanation and introduction. It will eventually bring you back here.

This is just an example on reducing anxiety to start with which will involve you recalling a memory that has some emotion attached to it.

To focus on the memory of a specific event is a very effective method of reducing your anxiety and fears because your present anxieties (even small ones about going out or meeting someone) come from your past experiences so you need to connect with those feelings to be able to eliminate them.

Because this is a romance website it would be great if you could go right now to a memory of when you met, or were about to meet, someone you considered very attractive which caused you to feel anxious at that time.

The anxiety that you feel when you remember this event should be an excessive emotion (or a negative emotion) which means too much excitement, or great fear, or tear-producing joy, or embarrassment or out-of-control feeling, or suffering from very poor confidence at that particular time.

It does not mean a normal level of anticipation because it will not work on that, it needs to be a stronger feeling.

Do you have a good event in mind?

If not, try to go back to any time where you felt emotional, or anxious or stressed, preferably when meeting someone or when in front of people, or meeting a person of importance, a boss...

BUT PLEASE DO NOT GO TO A SEVERELY TRAUMATIC MEMORY - WE WILL DEAL WITH THAT LATER, BUT NOT NOW.

Just to explain the difference...
an event where you were highly embarrassed or where you felt ridiculed is OK, but an event where you experienced great shock such as being threatened with violence is probably too painful to start with.

Before you begin..
measure your stress level

While thinking of that past experience give the emotion you feel a number from one to ten. Ten being the strongest emotion you could feel and zero being no emotion at all while you recall the memory of that event.

If you can recall the emotion experienced at the time of the event it means it is still with you and that is what you are about to permanently remove.

The memory of the event will always be there afterward, but you will no longer be affected by the emotion of that event when you recall it.

That means the embarrassment or anger, or fear of that event will no longer come back to you when you think about the event again.

Write down your number that you guess is about the right level of intensity of feeling because it will change and afterward you will not believe it unless your write it down first.

You can see a full explanation of this Subjective Units of Distress (SUDS) which is your anxiety level measurement at SUDS, subjective units of distress.

Just before going ahead with this demonstration you need to also identify if possible the type of emotion (or anxiety) you are feeling. Sometimes anger can be confused with frustration etc.

We will interchange these two words (anxiety and emotion) frequently because in most cases on this site emotion and anxiety mean the same thing.

Is it fear, anger, humiliation, annoyance, feeling helpless or worthless, tear-producing emotion, joy, incredible excitement or something else?

Can you feel it and name it?

You are about to remove all of that anxiety (for this specific event) with this technique so when it is gone you will not be able to feel it again (for that particular memory).

Most people cannot believe it.

They keep searching for it after patting and often say "it was just not a good example" because they cannot feel anxiety on that event any more after the patting which is exactly what you want.

So three tips here.

  1. focus only on one specific event.

  2. focus only on one part (the moment you first experienced the emotion) of that event not the whole event.

  3. focus only on the main emotion that you felt at that exact time not the mixture of emotions of the whole event.

Your first round of patting
- the energy technique

If you do not remember those patting points from Romance tips 3 you can refresh yourself with them now at patting points.
 This section about how to do the energy technique is also explained at Patting Round.

Setup phrase
the first part of your patting round

First you are going to use a "setup phrase" that is a general one and it would be great if you could use it exactly as it is given here. Start patting continuously right now on the Karate Chop point of one hand with your opposite hand.

Keep patting while you say this three times. Aloud is more effective than silently.

"Even though I felt (whatever the emotion is) at that time I accept myself anyway."

This is just stating the negative problem and adding a positive affirmation to it.

Say it three times while continuously patting on the karate choppoint.

Now use a "reminder" phrase as you pat approximately seven times quickly on each of the seven points.

An example of a reminder phrase could be "this emotion", or "felt foolish" etc. whatever the feeling is that you experienced.

After saying that three times while patting on the Karate chop point start patting on the energy points below using that reminder phrase at each point.

Eyebrow - "felt foolish" (or whatever your emotion is)
Side of eye - "felt foolish"
Under eye - "felt foolish"
Under nose - "felt foolish"
Chin - "felt foolish"
Collarbone - "felt foolish"
Under arm - "felt foolish"

That is called one round of patting.

Congratulations, this will improve your confidence - promise

Now you have done it, congratulations, but that is not all, you will be shown ways on this site to help yourself succeed at whatever you desire - romance, attraction, soul-mate, confidence and more, this is just a beginning demonstration.

If you did not reduce your anxiety substantially check the reasons why at low response or just continue on below because it will most likely resolve when you do the "remainder" round.

Check your SUD result before going on to the next round

Go back to that memory again now and put a new number on the emotion you feel as you recall it.

Is it still there?

Has it been replaced by another emotion, has it been replaced by another event, has the level gone down from say 8 to zero, or 8 to 2?

Remember this is not mind over matter, it is a real physical change caused by energy meridians becoming balanced again.

If your anxiety on that event has gone to zero,.. Fantastic. Well done. Whenever you remember that part of the event again for the rest of your life you will not feel that emotion again.

It is gone.

It was something your body was holding on to, it was not necessary, it did you no good and now you are free of it and it will help you to avoid that kind of feeling in the future.

Remember that this is only an example, not a life-changing experience - not yet.

Natural emotions and natural caution are not affected

You can feel very safe doing this because only negative or excessive emotion can be removed using this method. You cannot remove ordinary, normal emotion or natural caution because those type of emotions do not affect your meridians so there is nothing to balance out.

If your emotion on that event has gone down to a lower number, but not completely removed you need to do it one more time with a variation which is very common and doing it twice like this will be necessary for many issues.

The "remaining" round
for any remaining emotion still there

For a separate explanation of this round you can go to Remaining Round.

Using slightly different wording in the setup statement pat continuously on the karate chop and say, "Even though I still have some of this feeling of ..(insert your original emotion)..., I accept myself anyway." Say that three times while patting continuously.

Now do the patting seven times on each point again using the reminder phrase "remaining feeling of ...(insert your original emotion)"

Check the memory again and it should be gone - down to zero. If it is a one or two it might really be a zero. The numbers are only an estimate or a guess.

If it has changed to some other feeling or some other event then congratulations to you again. It has gone and now you have another event or issue to tackle.

Now you can chase any new emotions or events that come up in your mind yourself using the above example as a guide by patting again on the new feeling and the new event if you want to remove those. Do as many emotional memories as you can at this point for practice because it will help you to remove the big ones later.

Patting round instructions again in brief

Identify an emotion at a particular time, use the setup phrase three times, tap on each meridian (one round), then if you still have some emotion left use the "still have" set up and use "remaining" emotion on each patting point.

That is two rounds.

Eventually, you will be able to say the set-up phrase in several seconds and do the patting points in ten seconds so it can be really quick.

Now try this on any other strong anxiety you had on any event, (except severe trauma), just keep it specific to one emotion on one particular part of one event and you should be very successful.

Anger is a good one. When were you last angry? When were you very angry?

After releasing this emotion on an event you often feel a weight has been removed from your shoulders, you wonder why you got angry, it now seems trivial or not important at all.

A great practice session is to sit back and recall an event in movie form in your mind.

Let's say your movie is of a party. Pat one round on how you felt before going to it, then pat another round on the first emotion you felt as you approached it, then try to feel the emotion you had when you first entered the party and do a round on that, then on any specific event at the party that caused some emotional charge within you.

If there were some unpleasant feelings and you remove them all you will suddenly feel free.

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