Romance tips number one - recognising your soulmate

Some years ago I was lucky enough

to attend a conference where I found out

about an easy, simple and very accurate

type of behavioural style analysis

which looked at four different personalities.

This first romance tip will show you

how to recognise your soul mate

from the four separate styles.

First you will learn how

to identify your own style,

then you will shown how to look for

the give away signs (behaviour patterns)

of the other personalities and of your

soul mate's personality.

If you have not read all the pages

before this one

it would be a good idea to start

at the first and work your way through,

it will not take you long,

but it will be worth it

because you will absorb the information

on this page better if you do.

Behavioural Styles

the compatible type for you,

one of the four behaviour styles,

but you will not have

to analyse everyone to find out

because you will learn the short cuts.

Surprisingly, some life-long partnerships are a mix

of the wrong types and still work

although these are rare.

There are only two characteristics

you need to understand

with behavioural styles

so it will become very simple.

You can divide everyone you meet

and know into two categories

(apart from male and female)

and then into two ends

of a scale for each category.

That makes four behavioural styles.

This first romance tip

concerns one half of those four styles.

The second of the romance tips

is about the other half

of those four styles.

Here is the first characteristic.

Willingness To Disclose Personal Information

personal information which is one end of the scale

and other people are guarded about disclosing

personal information and so they are contained.

The two ends of the scale

are open and contained.

How to tell the difference

people who are open

can talk and listen freely

with other people who are open

and the same goes

for people who are contained,

but the two styles do not cross

communicate easily with each other.

Often they will be able to converse

quite well for a while,

after which it becomes more difficult.

The things they talk about are not the same.

Open people like to talk

about emotions and feelings

and personal things,

which contained people do not like

to speak about.

Contained people like to chat

about goals, high achievement,

sport, success, facts,

but not personal feelings.

Contained people talk about what they think,

while open people talk about what they feel.

So if you find talking is difficult

with a new acquaintance

then there is a good chance

that one of you is open

and the other is contained.

It is not because you are not attractive.

The chances of that partnership working out

between an open and a closed person

is slim, it most often fails.

Even shy people who are of

the same disclosure type

can make good conversational progress.

So the first great romantic tip

for attraction is that

if you can talk and listen easily

to the other person

you are well on your way.

It is a great sign.

It means that you are both speaking

of similar things, or more correctly,

you are both speaking in the same style.

So you can tell different stories

in a way that both of you appreciate

and enjoy.

To expand on that a little,

talking and listening easily

is not just talking and listening.

It involves the other person’s

body language and their reactions too.

You can actually talk easily to someone

and not have them say much in return

if they are comfortable listening.

It is when they become

more uncomfortable the more you talk

that you probably have an opposite style

in openness to yours.

If you are the listener,

then what the other person says

will either make you feel relaxed or tense.

Unfortunately this can sometimes

take a while to work out

or it can be obvious a few minutes

after meeting,

but at least you now have the clue.

Romance tip one is to determine

first of all

what your own personal disclosure value is

and to listen to as many people

as you can to determine theirs.

Pay attention to their willingness

to disclose personal information.

I have worked with some contained people

for years and not know their children

or spouse's name,

yet I can talk reasonably well with them,

and with very open people

I have found out their family background,

their personal history,

where they go for holidays

and how they feel about many things

on the first day.

Look for how they talk about things

open people talk with feelings and emotions

while contained people talk

with factual and success orientation?

Look for ease of conversation

- does it flow or is it short and clipped?

If it flows you are probably the same style

which is great,

if it does not, it is a strong indication

that you will always have problems communicating.

That is not good for a perfect love match

as we explained in earlier pages.

Communication is the biggest key.

If you immediately communicate easily

and comfortably that is the best sign

of mutual attraction.

If you continue to communicate in the

same way then it is almost certain

that you are the same style of openness

and you are attracted to each other

in general.

It sounds simple, and it is so you can

see that it is not always wise to chase

someone with whom you do not have

a natural affinity.

They will almost always be an opposite style.

How To Practice Identifying Open and Contained Personalities

you are at

to become better at determining

whether a prospective partner

is the same style.

Here is a question to help you.

Are you happy divulging your personal details

to others in an attempt to be friendly

and make them feel comfortable?

If you answer Yes you are definitely

open on the scale of

willingness to disclose information.

If you answer "No, or, only sometimes",

or "Only after a while",

you are very likely contained

on the same scale.

Out of your best friends,

most will be the same style as you.

Try to take notice of how easily

you talk to work colleagues,

acquaintances and strangers.

Work out which of them

you find annoying

and if they talk in terms

of personal feelings or facts.

Then figure out which of them

you get along easiest with

and try to determine their style

because those little practices will

help you determine your style.

When you are sure of your style

and you have picked the style

of many others

you can practice guessing

with people you meet for the first time.

It does not matter

if they are the same or the opposite gender.

The first hot tip is to make sure

you are able to communicate

with a potential soul mate.

Things will go much more smoothly

when you can and they will probably

be your correct soul-mate

behavioural style for true romance.

When you get to Romance Tips Three,

you will be shown a way that you can

increase your confidence remarkably

and quickly so that meeting people

will become easy and relaxed.

But now go to Romance Tips Two

and find out about the second part

of behaviour styles to complete

this section of attracting a soul mate.

Go to Romance Tips Number Two

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